Ibimenyetso 5 byakwereka ko umukobwa yagukunze

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Iyo urebye ibijyanye no kumenya neza ibyiyumviro abagore cyangwa abakobwa bagira iyo tugerageza gukundana na bo, akenshi usanga abagabo batitwararika kumenya ibimenyetso bijyanye n’urukundo.

Ibimenyetso 5 byakwereka ko umukobwa yagukunze
Ibimenyetso 5 byakwereka ko umukobwa yagukunze

Ibyo bikaba ku  bagabo bakunze  bwa mbere cyangwa batigeze bakunda, batinya ko bakwangwa. Kenshi rero usanga atari uko abagabo banga kwitwararika kw’ibyo bimenyetso, ahubwo ikibazo ni ukuba batabizi neza cyangwa  badafata umwanya wo kubyitegereza.



Nkuko tubikesha urubuga: www.alangoldsher.com, hariho ibimenyetso ukwiye kumenya, kugira ngo umenye ko umukobwa cyangwa umugore yifuza ko mukundana.

Ibyo bigufasha kubigenderaho kugira ngo umenye aho wamuhera.

1. Ikimenyetso cyo gushaka kwisetsa

David Wygant, umwanditsi wa Always Talk To Strangers, ni umuhanga mu gutahura ibimenyetso ,avuga ko iyo umukobwa cyangwa umugore ashaka ko akuba hafi mu mwanya uba ubabaye, akaba ashaka kukubona uhimbawe museka, hari iyindi ntambwe aba ashaka ko mushyikaho.

Uwundi muhanga witwa Rose Marie, umugore wo muri White Plains, New York, na we aragira ati “Iyo nkeneye kugumana n’umugabo, iyo nifuza ko twirirwana imuhira, ngerageza kumusetsa, nkamushotora, mbese nkamera nk’aho nshaka gukina na we”.

2. Kuguha kenshi umwanya w’ibiganiro

Iyo umugore aguhaye umwanya wo kuganira na we mu mwanya w’akazi cyangwa mu gihe gito cy’akaruhuko ka saa sita, akenshi aba ari ukugira ngo muganire bisanzwe. Ariko iyo aguhaye umwanya wo ku mugoroba cyangwa uwo mu ijoro nko muri week-end, usanga ahanini aba ari ukugira ngo mube hamwe ugire icyo umumarira nk’umugabo.

Umukobwa witwa Shelly wo mu mujyi wa San Diego, agira ati “Mfite akazi ahantu hari abasore benshi ndetse bakanasaba ko dusohokana. Iyo umwe muri bo nkunda cyangwa numva anyuze umutima wanjye, ashatse ko dusohokana, muha umwanya wo muri weekend  cyangwa umwanya wo mu ijoro kuko mba numva nifuza ko twasangira icyo kunywa cyangwa icyo kurya ndetse tukanaganira ku buryo umwe wese amenya uwundi bikwiye.

3. Ukuntu yifata muri kumwe

Hari amahirwe make cyane kugira ngo umugore amenye uko yifata murimo muraganira. Ariko ubundi ni gute akwereka ko akwitayeho? Umugore witwa Jess, w’i New York, aragira ati “Akenshi uko umugore yigenza (woman’s gestures) biguha ubutumwa cyangwa bikakwereka aho uhera, nk’iyo urimo uravugana na we ubona yabuze aho areba, yagize isoni, ikiganza cye gitora aka na kariya” ngo aba yaranze abandi basore.

Ikindi ubimenyeraho, igihe urimo uravugana n’umukobwa cyangwa umugore atakwitayeho ngo azaba  yikoza  hirya no hino ubona ko mutari kumwe cyangwa yifashe neza (yipfumbase= les bras croisés) ndetse akajya avuga inkuru ze n’ibindi bintu bitajyanye n’ibyo wowe urimo uravuga.

4. Kukureba buri kanya, bivuga ngo “Nagukunze”

Umusore ategerezwa kumenya ko iyo aguma ahuza amaso n’umukobwa aba ari kubera amukunda. Kujya muhuza amaso amasegonda arenze abiri ni ikimenyetso cy’uko mwahuje imitima, intangiriro y’urukundo. Ikindi ni uko iyo muhuje amaso hanyuma akava ku maso agahita areba iminwa yawe, bifite icyo bivuga.

5. Gutera iyindi ntambwe

Iyo abagabo n’abasore babonye ko abakobwa babakunze, kiba ikibazo cyo kumenya uko babyitwaramo. Wygant avuga ko iyo umukobwa yagukunze ari byiza kumufasha kubyirengagiza cyangwa gushyika ku ntumbero ashaka.

Ushobora kumusaba ko mujyana ahiherereye mukaganira ukamubwira uti “Urabizi ? Ndifuza ko waza nkakwereka ahantu twasangira icyo kurya  ku mugoroba”.

Iyo ari umukobwa mumaze iminsi muziranye, nyuma yogusangira na we uramubwira uti “ndifuza kukumenya birenze uko biri ubu, nkakubera incuti, urabyumva gute ?” Azakwereka mu bimenyetso ukuntu nawe yabishatse kuva kera, kubera ko azaba asanzwe agukunda, azakubwira ati “yego”. nyuma y’ibyo, hakenewe ko ugira umugambi urimo ibintu bibiri : kumukurikirana ukamwitaho no gukoresha amahirwe aguhaye.



SCHADRACK MUKESHIMANA

 

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