Amabanga buri mugabo akwiye kwirinda kubwira uwo bashakanyeNi byiza kandi ni ngombwa kwisanzura kuwo mwashakanye, akamenya ibyo utekereza, aho ugiye, imishinga yawe, amabanga amwe n’amwe n’ibindi.

Ibi bizatuma mwuzuzanya kandi anarushaho kuwiyumvamo nk’umugore wawe, umubyeyi n’umutima w’urugo.

Nubwo ariko byakagombye kugenda, hari amwe mu amabanga umugabo akwiye kwirinda umubwira uwo bashakanye, bitewe n’uburyo ashobora guhungabanya urugo mwubatse mu gihe aramutse amenyekanye, nk’amwe muri aya akurikira:

1. Ibintu bibi mama wawe yaba yaramuvuzeho

Bishoboka ko mbere y’uko useserana n’umugore wawe cyangwa se nyuma yaho, ababyeyi bawe baba barakubwiye ikintu cyangwa ibintu batamukunzeho ku mpamvu iyo ariyo yose. Ugomba kwitondera kumubwira cyangwa kumuganiriza kuri ibyo bintu, cyangwa se ukaba wabikosora wirinda kumubwira uwabivuze, uko byavuze n’impamvu yatumye bivugwa, mu kwirinda ko byamubabaza cyane.

Uramutse ubimubwiye uko byakabaye n’uko byavuzwe, bishobora kuvutsa urwango ruhoraho hagati y’ababyeyi bawe n’umugore wawe kandi ntiwakwifuza ko ibyo bibaho.

2. Ibintu bibi umuryango wawe waba waramuvuzeho

Kimwe n’ababyeyi, abo muvukana, abo mu muryango muri rusange bashobora kuba baravuze ibintu bitari byiza ku mugore wawe mbere yuko mushingana urugo. Ni ibintu ugomba kwitondera buri gihe cyose mu biganiro n’umufasha wawe, hato utazabyutsa intambara hagati mu miryango yanyu ndetse no mu mubano hagati yawe n’umugore wawe.

3. Irinde kumumbwira inzozi zawe ziteye ubwoba

Biroroshye ku mugore kubyutsa umugabo we ashaka kumubwira indoto zitari nziza cyangwa se zamuteye ubwoba. ntabwo ari bibi ku mugore kubibwira umugabo we, ariko si byiza ku mugabo gusangiza umugore we inzozi ziteye ubwoba amaze kugira, kuko bishobora gutera umugore kutongera gusinzira.

Ushobora kumusaba ko mwasengana hamwe mu buryo bwo kwishyira mu mutuzo nyuma y’izo nzozi, ariko ukirinda kumubwira mu gishushanyo uko inzozi zari zimeze wirinda kumutera ubwoba.

4. Irinde kumubwira uko inshuti zawe zimwiyumvamo byukuri

Inshuti zawe zishobora kuvuga amagambo atari meza ku mugore wawe nubwo byaba ari mu mikino atari ko bashakaga ko ubyumva. Imemye wirinde kubibwira umugore wawe uko byakabaye naho ubundi uzisanga urugo rwawe rutagendwa n’abo wari uzi ko ari isnhuti zawe.

5. Irinde kumubwira ibitekerezo n’ibyiyumviro bitari byiza waba umufiteho

Irinde kumubwira ibitekerezo bitari byiza bikurimo igihe murimo gutongana, kuko bizamubabaza cyane ndetse bikaba byabasenyera urugo.

6. Irinde kumubwira abakobwa baguhanzeho ijisho bakwifuza

Rimwe na rimwe uzisanga hari abakobwa bamwe na bamwe baguhanzeho ijisho bumva ko bagukunze kandi nawe ushobora kuba wabakunda nubwo baba babona ko ufite umugore, wubatse urugo. Si byiza rero kwiruka ngo uhite ubibwira umugore wawe, ni amabanga yawe.

Ku mukobwa, kwerekana ko agukunze nti bishatse kuvuga ko aba agushaka byanze bikunze. Niyo mpamvu ugomba kwitonda kuko uramutse ubimubwiye, ashobora kubifata uko bitari, akaba yatangira kugukemanga ko waba umuca inyuma, ndetse ukaba wanakurura imirwango hagati ye n’abo bakobwa kandi atari byo.

7. Irinde kumubwira icyo utekereza kuri Mama we

 Mama w’umugore wawe ashobora kuba atitwara neza nk’uko bikwiye, cyangwa se nk’uko umubyeyi muri rusange yakagombye kwitwara, ariko umenye ko bishoboka ko ariko asanzwe ameze, ko ariko yarezwe kandi akaba yarareze umukobwa waje kukubera umufasha, wakuviriyemo umugore mwiza ukunda.

Si byiza rero kubwira umugore wawe ko Mama cyangwa Papa we afite imico mibi, atitwara neza kuko umugore wawe ari ishusho y’abamubyaye bakanamukuza akakuviramo umufasha.

8. Kumubwira ibyo abantu bavuze cyangwa bakoze bikubabaza cyane

Mu buzima, abantu bazavuga, bazakubwira ibintu bizakubabaza cyane. Niba bikubayeho, irinde kujya imbere y’umugore wawe ubimubwira n’amarira menshi, umwereka ko byakubabaje cyane. Kubera ko igihe kizagera, niba ubashije kubabarira umuntu wakubwiye cyangwa wagukoreye ikintu bikubabaza, umugore wawe ashobora kutazababarira umuntu watumye umugabo we arira.

9. Kumubwia amazina y’abakobwa mwaryamanye

Si byiza na mba kwivuga ibigwi imbere y’umugore wawe, kumwereka no kumubwira urutonde rw’abakobwa mwaryamanye mbere y’uko mumenyana. Ibyo ni ibintu adakeneye kumenya, abakunzi bawe ba mbere ye n’ amabanga yawe, komeza urugendo kuko bitamureba.

10. Uko waryoherewe n’ imibonano mbere ye

Nk’uko ugomba kwirinda kubwira umugore wawe urutonde n’amazina y’abo mwaryamanye mbere ye, si byiza na gato kumubwira uko waryoherwaga cyangwa se uwakuryoheye mu buryobwo kumwumvisha no gutuma yakora imibonano neza no kuyiryoshya kurusha abo bandi, ni ibintu bitari byiza na gato ugomba kwirinda.

Ngayo arero amabanga twashoboye kubategurira, bitavuze ko buri mugabo uwo ari we wese ariko yabigenza, yakwihitiramo ku buryo bibaye ngombwa yanamenya uko abyitwaramo.

TANGA IGITEKEREZO KURI IYI NKURU